Detox: Cleansing Your Kitchen

My kitchen has never been subjected to a maple syrup detox diet. On that note, it’s never undergone the raw food diet, herbal detox, Hallelujah diet or the fruit flush either. I’m considering putting it on the Martha’s Vineyard Detox Diet, but pretty much because its name lends some virtual travel benefits and just sounds nice.

I have no interest in living on maple syrup for two weeks. I wouldn’t subject my family and friends to the torment of being around me under such circumstances. Instead, when I lapse every now and then on things such as, oh I don’t know, these CHEESE CURDS from the Taste of Minnesota last weekend, I prefer to find refuge in my kitchen afterward and continue eating meals and such, which are somewhat less guilt-ridden.

Slowly but surely, my kitchen -read: not me – is undergoing detox. The regiment is strict some days and fairly lenient others. My trips to the supermarket are either hit or miss, or just somewhere in between. On any given day, there’s a 95% chance that you’ll find some variety of dark chocolate in my kitchen pantry. And the other 5% of times? They’re probably due to a weak previous evening, or a temporary grocery run hiatus. What I’m saying is my kitchen has plenty of guilty pleasures in it. What would life be without a few guilty pleasures? Detox programs are controversial, afterall. A lot of people claim that they’re a fad, merely yo-yo starvation diets, and that the results won’t last. One key to successful detox is transitioning smoothly. I like to think I’m in the midst of a VERY gradual and *efficient* transition.

Like a detox diet, a kitchen cleanse gets rid of the bad stuff that’s built up, on the shelves. Chances are when you open your cupboards or pantry, you may recognize some of what’s in there as nostalgia. Maybe it’s what your mom or grandma used to buy and feed you, maybe it’s always been there for you as a comfort food, maybe it’s just familiar and reliable. The nostalgia of what’s in there can bring on separation anxiety, at the mere thought of parting with those foods.

Why kitchen detox?
Besides getting behind the lastest rage, there really are ample benefits to a kitchen cleanse. And yep, I’d be happy to share some. The foods and ingredients you cook with are things that can be changed very easily and can affect a great deal of your health. Immunity is largely linked to your gut, some say as much as eighty percent. Healthy food, healthy gut. Healthy gut, healthy self. Laboratory created ingredients – fake, processed “foods” – can directly impact your nervous system, your heart and overall wellbeing. Have you seen my posts on MSG, trans fat, artificial colors or apartame? Simply put, our bodies are not designed to eat fake, processed foods. And when we do eat them, we declare war on our own body. According to Reader’s Digest.com, ninety percent of Americans’ household food budget is spent on processed foods. It’s no wonder we’re inundated with ads for the new Oreo Cakester flavor of the week, partially hydrogenated oil and condom lube -er- Cool Whip, in a can, Nacho Cheese Doritos in a cup, or Spanish Rice A Roni (in which the sixth ingredient listed is MSG.) Americans spend ninety percent of their food budget towards these fake “foods”! The industry makes ‘em, markets ‘em, and leads us to believe they’re all part of a balanced diet. And the worst part… we believe ‘em.

Just by changing the things you eat, you can prevent so many chronic diseases down the road. By cutting out or down on processed foods that contain sodium, you can regulate your blood pressure. By cutting down on high fructose corn syrup, you can dramatically reduce your risk of diabetes. By eliminating the toxin MSG from your diet, you can significantly reduce your chances of obesity, MS or other nervous system disorders. You are what you eat, right?

MSG anyone?

Social Distortion

Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t make it right or pleasant for your body. The food industry says everything it can to get your money, such as “it’s fine in moderation”, “indulge yourself”, or “what you crave”. Unless you’re a strong-willed, expert shopper, they’ll deceive you and win (your money, that is). Enough of us are uninformed shoppers, making this food industry a wild success. You can either buy into what the big food companies tell you is normal, or you can be informed.

One of the most interesting social distortions, to me, is the one that vegans and vegetarians don’t get enough vitamins and must not be healthy. Truth is, nutrition-conscious vegans and vegetarians are likely a whole lot healthier than many. They’re eating foods closest to nature, the foods that we’re actually built to eat. Yet, veganism or vegetarianism is viewed as an alternative, extreme diet. I have to say that eating artificial dyes, plastic fats, preservatives, excess sodium and excitoTOXINs seems more extreme to me than fruits, vegetables and nuts. To each their own.

So where does one start with the kitchen detox?

There are plenty of detox formulas to try, depending on the results you’re seeking. Not pretending to be an authority, I’m humbled knowing my kitchen can be improved and further detoxed on any given day. It’s what works for me and my family. Like any family routine, favorite meal or cleaning regiment, you find your own. Stick with what works for you. I like to think that detox formulas are always improving themselves, and that one in the kitchen is more of a continuum than a sprint with a finish line. It’s never too late to start, and there’s never a definitive finish line, when it comes to nutritional eating. Going cold turkey with your detox might result in a sudden relapse. These things take time – maintaining a comfortable *jog* pace will take you further than a sprint. I like to start small, and spare myself anxiety issues.

It’s not about denying yourself good food. Trust me.
I love to eat. I love to eat GOOD, real food. I’m not about to deny anyone food. I’m just not into eating synthetic stuff. A cleanse just gets rid of the unwanted, in effort to better the system. You learn to replace: your staples, comfort foods, party dishes, untried recipes, you name it. You’ll feel better overall and enjoy eating even more, once you convert to the natural side, I promise. Ready?

Here are SOME of the worst synthetic offenders to begin your cleanse continuum:

Baking offenders:

1. Bleached, enriched flour:

this is stripped of nearly all natural nutrients from the wheat berry and enriched with heavy metals! It’s essentially sugar. The bleached stuff contains, drumroll please… bleach.
Instead: use whole wheat pastry flour

2. White, enriched bread:

like the flour, this is also stripped of any natural nutrients and enriched with stuff you shouldn’t eat
Instead: use whole wheat bread or get creative with whole wheat bakery options: ciabatta, sourdough, etc.

3. Vegetable and canola oil:

these oils of the omega-6 variety have been highly processed prior to you cooking with them and lead to a multitude of chronic diseases
Instead: use coconut oil or olive oil

4. Shortening and margarine:

plastic fat – nothing good about this, this is cardiac trouble in a tub
Instead: use butter or olive oil

5. Peanut Butter that contains partially hydrogenated oil:

more plastic fat
Instead: use a natural or organic peanut butter, or other natural “butter” alternative

6. Aluminum-containing Baking Powder:

see my post
Instead: use aluminum-free baking powder or make your own (recipe on #6 link above)

Cooking offenders:

1. Kraft Macaroni and cheese:

contains artificial colors yellow 5 and yellow 6, and a plethora of unnatural things
Instead: find a natural recipe for cheesy pasta (using real cheese, butter, and no food dye)

2. Knorr and A-Roni Products:

MSG anyone?
Instead: season your own brown rice or find a natural brand that contains less than 6 ingredients, of which you can pronounce

3. Boullion cubes:

poster children for MSG and partially hydrogenated oils (trans fat)
Instead: use a natural vegetable broth – make your own or buy it, use organic Trocomare seasoning salt for additional salt flavor

4. Doritos and Lays flavored chips:

MSG chips
Instead: find a natural snack – maybe granola, yogurt or fruit; or find a natural kettle chip or tortilla chip

5. “Enriched” anything:

this means stripped of any good there was and replaced with unnatural *metals* you don’t want to be eating
Instead: whole wheat flour product or brown rice, instead of white

6. Anything that contains

“Partially hydrogenated oil”:

this is disease-inducing plastic fat made in a lab, so uh, steer clear of this (really, there are just too many to name, read your labels: margarine, pizza, cool whip, crackers/cookies, the list goes on forever)

“MSG”:

this is an excitoTOXIN that messes with your nervous system. As a sister of two chiropractors, I’ve learned there’s nothing more important than protecting this. Nothing.

“Bleached” anything:

because ingesting it is BAD

“Artificial color”:

these just haven’t been banned yet, see my post and read labels for cough drops and children’s liquid meds!

Refrigerated offenders:

1. Margarine:

plastic fat

2. Eggs that are not free range, organic:

While cage-free is not interchangeable with cruelty-free, it’s more humane, free-range being most humane, giving hens access to the outdoors – ask your supplier when unsure. Organic eggs are free of antibiotics and hormones. Don’t
spend extra on vegetarian-fed or extra DHA (these are not necessarily organic.)

3. Deli meat, sausage and hotdogs:

contain carcinogenic preservatives

4. Velveeta:

I believe this is pronounced syn/thet/ic.

5. Soda pop:

I gave many of my college years and early working years to this bubbly, sweet evil in a can. Let me tell you, the devil wears high fructose corn syrup, caramel color and carbonation. There is nothing good in soda pop. If you must, try a brand which both use cane sugar instead of HFCS. Much better yet, try fizzy Kombucha tea.

6. Salad dressing:

Plenty of brands contain high fructose corn syrup or a bunch of other fake ingredients. Brands I dig are Brianna’s, Newman’s
Own, Annie’s, and too many others to name. You can try your hand at making homemade dressing, or toss your salad with olive oil and
vinegar, adding some choice toppings like walnuts, sunflower nuts, cranberries, avocado slices, tomatoes, you name it.

Pantry:
1. If you’re a cereal fanatic (I am not) read your labels.

Do you want to start your day by eating high fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated sludge and artificial chemicals that battle your body? Buy cereals that contain REAL food only. Try real oatmeal, this is my vice when I get the cereal urge. Sprinkle on some cinnamon and maybe add some fruit for a gourmet first meal of the day.

2. Packaged crackers and cookies:

unless they’re truly natural, don’t do it. Opt for homemade instead. They’re always better anyway.

3. Maple syrup:

unless it’s pure, it’s mostly high fructose corn syrup, since it’s much cheaper

4. Boxed meals and sides:

Filled with artificial this, MSG that – if you find your pantry stocked with this stuff, wean yourself. You’ll save money and feel better in the long run by cooking from scratch. Everyone has an inner chef, find yours.

5. Canned meals and sides:

Same idea as boxed, tons of sodium and preservatives. Unless you are without a kitchen, try weaning yourself from the Dinty Moore and the Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup. Plug in your slow-cooker or saute some fresh mushrooms instead.

Detox Maintainance and Success

1. Remember to pace yourself.

Warm up with a nice walk at first, and then when you’re ready, begin jogging.

2. Locate tempting, new recipes to crave.

Google search for recipes that use your favorite vegetables and fruits, as well as some you’re unfamiliar with. Cooking with unknown produce is like traveling to a new city. It’s impossible to really get to know it upon introduction, and you’re amped just to experience NEW. Bookmark recipe and cooking sites, blogs and books that will keep your recipe file happily expanding.

Looking for a few to get you started?
101 Cookbooks
The Traveler’s Lunchbox
Eat Air
Chocolate & Zucchini
Bleeding Espresso
David Lebovitz
Simply Recipes
Food For My Family
Delicious Days

Whole Living is Martha Stewart’s site and subscription which sends out seasonal recipe ideas for using fresh produce

3. See beyond the flair, the colors and the propoganda of big food, in advertisements and in the stores.

When you’re lacking will-power, ask yourself whose best interest their product has in mind.

4. Shop at your local co-op and you’ll make your shopping A LOT easier.

The work has already been done for you, and you’ll support your local farmers. Hit up local farmer’s markets too, the ones where the produce sold is really local.

5. Replace things you miss with new, REAL, favorites.